


RvB Fantasy AU (UNFINISHED)

by Dragoonfliy



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bickering, Blood Drinking, Gen, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24955171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoonfliy/pseuds/Dragoonfliy
Summary: Made in high school (10 years ago), unbeta'd and will remain unfinished! I'm still proud of it though. Copypasta'd straight from the partially corrupted word doc.Tex is a hunter of the supernatural, dispatching vampires and werewolves with ease. But when she's stuck with the loudest and most annoying trainee and then sent to kill what turns out to be her ex-boyfriend Church, things quickly escalate in a downhill fashion. Damn the town of Blood Gulch to hell.UNFINISHED
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	RvB Fantasy AU (UNFINISHED)

Tex crept silently towards the cellar door, sparkling stake in hand. A massive door handle embedded with blue stones beckoned for Tex to enter. Placing one hand on the handle, she gestured for her new apprentice, affectionately dubbed Sister by other hunters, to be quiet and follow. Sister bobbed her head eagerly and bounced along the wall after Tex. Tex nearly hissed in exasperation. She had been assigned to kill a Vampire LORD and she’d been landed with the dumbest and loudest apprentice of the lot. When Sister was finally in her back up position, Tex slowly began to push open the door. The hinges didn’t squeak at all.

Stupid Vampires.

Tex crept into the room with Sister close on her heels. She spotted two large coffins towards the back. A single gesture put Sister keeping watch over the second closed coffin while Tex crept towards the first. Strange blue insignias glittered on its surface. They spoke of various protection spells. Tex wasn’t impressed. The coffin looked easy enough to open. She pushed her black gloves tenderly under the coffin’s lid. She pulled up ever so slowly, knowing that it had taken her a full day to work her way to this very room, and the Vampire could wake at the slightest sound. Peering inside the coffins shadows, she had just enough time to stab her stake down and notice… “Sister!” Tex bellowed. “It’s empty!” Sister’s huge golden eyes lit up with shock and she ripped the lid off the other coffin with a yelp. It too, was filled with nothing but sheets. “C’mon ladies.” A voice chuckled from the shadows. “You two are fabulous and all. But we’re not THAT stupid.” A young man stepped out of the shadows. Sister let out a gasping giggle. If the coffins hadn’t been there, they wouldn’t have guessed he was a vampire. Slightly tan skin framed the man’s soft blue-green eyes as he ran a hand through his light brown hair. He wore a vibrant teal cloak and regal clothes, that, on closer inspection, were worn and threadbare.

Tex swiftly pulled out another stake. “Now now.” The man scolded. “I know you just want to hit this, but don’t you think that hottie over there wants a turn too?” He grinned and winked at Sister, flashing sharp white fangs. “Bow Chicka Bow WHOA!” “Perv!” Tex lunged low for a head on attack at her enemy. The Vamp seemed in shock for half a second, then swiftly dashed away from Tex’s lunging black form. Tex snarled, damn he was fast!, and tried to turn on the spot to continue after her prey, only to have a cold hand grab onto her wrist.

Tex was totally caught off guard and tumbled onto her attacker. Flashes of cobalt clouded her vision, her legs tangled in something. “You…” She hissed unspoken profanities. She lifted the stake for a proper stab. “Tex, wait!” A familiar voice called. Tex let her eyes focus for a few moments. Another man stared back at her. His annoyed and scared blue eyes bored into her. That black hair. That face. Those clothes. “Church?”

“No babe, the name’s Tucker.” “Shut it Tucker.” Church growled. “Testy are we?” the Vampire, Tucker, shot back.

“Church…” Tex muttered, confused. “You should be back at the Hunter’s Academy where I left you.”

“I’m not.” Church muttered stoically. He got up, one pale hand extended to Tex. She didn’t take it and got up herself. “What are you doing here!” Tex found her proper voice now, angry as ever. “You’re not supposed to Hunt with out proper training and…” “What makes you think he’s hunting?” A cool voice interrupted her. Tex stared dumbstruck at Tucker. “It’s Church, he…” “Care to explain?” Tucker cocked his head at Church, who gave a pained sigh. “We used to be lovers.” Church recounted, all the while stepping closer to Tucker. “We hunted together. She abandoned me back at the Academy. I was slowing her down. She wanted to move on without me. I wasn’t good enough for her.” He sounded so blunt. Tex felt a quick rush of guilt. “I could make it up to you.” She offered, trying to sound coy. If Church killed the Vampire they could all be done here and leave. Church’s pale blue eyes stared at her, he knew, he was close enough to…

Tucker let out a laugh. “Well THAT explains you.” He finished chuckling and looked up at Church slyly. “She doesn’t know, does she?” Church snorted. “C’mon man. Don’t be that way!” Tucker laughed again. “Let’s put on a show, Church.” Church’s only response was tilting his face back towards the ceiling. He looked deep in thought. “I’ll see you ladies after the show tonight.” Tucker winked again, beckoning Sister closer to where he stood. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling a little THIRSTY.”

Tucker whipped towards Church. Tex couldn’t stop him. All her muscles froze as Tucker’s massive fangs sunk into Church’s neck with a sickening sound. Church’s body sagged backwards and he made a gurgling noise as his throat was partially ripped from his neck. Sister let out a faint scream as black blood sprayed across the stone floor. The Vampire turned dramatically “Boo.” He laughed again, and began laying Church’s body across the nearest coffin. “Care for a kiss Tex?” He grinned, mouth stained black and fangs bared. “Why you…” Tex began to pull out her trump card, the garlic-infused holy water she always kept closest to her person. “Hold on a sec.” Tucker gestured with one hand. “Show’s not over.” Tex paused. What more could she do? Her body screamed for her to attack, but…

Tex watched as the Vampire clenched his fist tightly over Church’s body. Church’s face looked calm and annoyed, and Tex felt a shiver of revulsion and even a little fear go down her body. “Wakey wakey, Church.” Tucker murmured, his own blood dripping down his fist a few times onto Church’s face. Church twitched. Tex was just about to gasp when…

Church lunged forward off the coffin, sinking his own massive white fangs into Tucker’s hand. “Owowowowow, heeeeey.” Tucker whined. “Not cool! This is my special hand.” “You’re disgusting.” Church rasped. The wound on his neck was little more than a few bloody scratches across his pale skin. “What. The. Fuck.” Tex felt shocked. She seen things nobody could imagine, but this… This was insane. Church wasn’t supposed to be a Vampire. He was just Church.

“Tex, baby, you’ve got some catching up to do. Now if your gifted friend over there wants some amusement during the long story to come, she could…” “Tucker.” Church’s voice was normal now, but it sounded no less threatening. “Spoilsport.” Tucker huffed. “Caboose can get them some chairs then.” “CABOOSE!” Church barked at a mound of blankets hidden in the corner of the cellar. The mound moved. Sister let out another little yelp of fear. Tex watched as what appeared to be a normal human came out from under the rags. “But Church.” The figure pouted. “Nap time is not over yet.” “Yes it is Caboose.” Church spoke curtly at the new man. “Caboose, get us some chairs.” “Anything for you best-friend-in-the-world Church!” Blond hair bobbing, the man crossed the room and began climbing up the stairs towards the building above. Tex caught a glimpse of the man’s heavily muscled back on his way out, and instantly recognized the rune printed there.

“Golem?” She sounded condescending. “I hadn’t known that Vampires had resorted to that sort of thing.” Tucker flashed her an annoyed glance from where he was flirting with Sister. “He came with the property.” Church shot back. “He’s useful.” There was a loud clunk and an “Ow” at the top of the stairs. “But dumb as hell.”

“Come on ladies.” Tex scowled at Tucker, the Vampire’s talk was getting old fast. “Let’s go up.” He grabbed Sister’s arm and pulled her towards the stairs. Tex followed closely, knowing full well that Church was watching.

The flight up the stairs gave Tex some time to think over her predicament. She killed Vampires. Church was a Vampire. Did that mean she had to kill Church? She shook her head silently. The townspeople had only asked for her to get rid of one Vampire Lord and any lackeys he could have around him. Was Church a lackey? Or was this something far more complicated…

“I know it looks bad.” Church muttered from behind her. His cloak didn’t make a sound as it slid across the stone steps. “But I can explain.” Tex snorted. “I doubt that.” “At least I’m taking the time to explain myself.” Church shot back. Tex winced, Church had been devoted to her before she had abandoned him. He seemed pretty angry. But Tex knew that she had the advantage. She could leave anytime she damn well pleased during the day, and she knew how to kill a Vampire even if it was awake. She would get out and find what was really happening here.

“Dammit Caboose!” Tucker complained. The huge man-golem had gotten a chair stuck in one of the smaller doors in the Vampire’s ‘living room’. “I did not do it!” Caboose complained. “Caboose, I swear, if we could get rid of you.” Tucker threatened. “We’ll just talk in here then.” Church muttered.

“Talk!” Tucker exclaimed. “You and your lover can talk! I’d like to get acquainted here with…” He smiled at Sister. “I’m Sister!” Sister exclaimed. Tex wanted to scream, now she would NEVER shut up! “Well, if you wouldn’t mind coming with me…” “Sister don’t you dare…” “It’ll be okay Tex! I swear on my brother’s mother’s…” “ALRIGHT.” Tex didn’t want to hear any more from anybody.

“Tex.” Except maybe him. “You’d better explain some crap, Church.” Tex threatened. “This has been one HELL of an interesting night.” Church shifted visibly through some of the room’s shadows, coming to sit on a chair away from Tex. “It’s not that easy.” “No shit, Sherlock.” “No, you’ll never really understand. It’s…what made you come here?” “What sort of a question is that!? I want answers.” “This is part of it. You’re in an area known as Blood Gulch. It has a sort of, pull. All the goddamn misfits of the world come here. And leaving? It’s just…” Tex snorted. “I don’t feel anything.” “Thanks for your support.” Church muttered, sarcasm dripping from his fangs. An awkward silence covered the room. “Well?” “You clearly don’t want to hear it.”

* * *

The next morning, Tex stomped through the beaten path behind her Vampire targets’ lair, easily pushing away the leaves that brushed across her pretty face. She didn’t even glance back to see if Sister was following. It’s not like she cared, Tex wanted to be alone anyway. The whole fiasco tonight had gotten on her nerves and, even worse, had her thinking.

Tex was very good at her job, there was no doubt about that, but could she kill Church? She had left him behind all those years ago to keep him from harm. At least that’s what she wanted to believe. Was this the gods’ way of punishing her for the other reasons she had had for leaving? Dumping her ex-lover with an apparently devious Vampire? And why was the feel of magic increasing around this province? Vampires didn’t need or use magic. And according to her employer, random attacks and monster sightings had been drastically increasing in this area. Tex felt glum, but determined. Maybe it was time to ask the townspeople a few questions. This seemed to go deeper than just a simple kill. She needed to start at her…

Suddenly, Tex was thrown out of her musings by the snap of twigs. She cursed herself silently for not paying better attention, then slipped quietly into the shadows of a tall fir tree. She pulled her black cloak tightly around herself and watched for any signs of trouble. Instead, two young men trotted out onto the path ahead of where Tex was hiding. She almost relaxed, they looked human enough, but stiffened again when one of the men spoke sternly. “Sarge is going to kill you for getting too close to the humans, you know.”

“Oh, shut it.” The other man snarled, giving his dirty blonde and brown hair a shake in his companions direction. “I’m hungry. ‘Sides, he doesn’t like me anyway. What should I care?” The first man shrugged his shoulders, rustling the fabric of his long dark red cloak that was pulled up around his entire body and head. It almost reminded Tex of the color of dried blood. “You are lazy as hell, Fleabag.” “Don’t start, Simmons you First-Class-Fur-Licker.” “I didn’t start anything, Mangy.” “Stuffy-Snout.” “Mutt.” “Collar’d.” “Chained.” “Kitten.”

The men stopped exchanging insults and began to snarl angrily. The smaller, dirtier one began to pace around the maroon one, Simmons, and they both lunged forward. Leaves crackled loudly as the fighters rolled in the dirt, growling and biting. Tex didn’t know if she should leave while they were distracted fighting each other or wait for them to go. They would surely find her if she stayed too long, but if she made a sound leaving, they wouldn’t be distracted for long. Werewolves were notorious for their keen senses and unpredictability. She moved slowly backwards, taking her chances with leaving now, and froze. The smaller man had quickly rolled on his back with a whimper. “Hey. Hey Simmons. I give. C’mon.” Simmons stood and brushed the leaves off his cloak, and Tex could feel the smugness on his face. “I still outrank you, Grif.” He snarled proudly. Grif stayed on his back, but he looked more at ease and took to scratching his orange tunic thoughtfully. “Only ‘cause you lick Sarge’s fur.” Simmons arched up aggressively again.

“But hey!” Grif pawed at the end of Simmons’ cloak. “I heard something.”

Tex tried to stifle a gasp. “What.” “I think it was a stray chicken.” “So.” “Over there.” Tex prepared to run…and felt a wave of relief as the man pointed to a spot further up the road, nowhere near where Tex was watching. “So...” “What.” “I’m hungry.” “Go catch it yourself.” “But I’m down here…” Simmons let out a huff and vanished into the rustling woods further up the road. Grif rolled his head back in Tex’s direction, but didn’t make any moves towards her. Tex was hidden. Safe. She twitched as she heard a pained squawk and a snarl, then a low snap. A few moments later Simmons stalked out of the woods. His hood was thrown back, revealing dark brown hair with a reddish tint, pale skin, and a mouth filled with dead pheasant. He then proceeded to drop the dead bird on Grif. Grif snapped up with a start and Simmons chuckled, “Lets go.” Grif muttered something about enjoying his food. “You can do that at base.” Simmons shot back. Orange and maroon figures stealthily crept back into the woods, trailing insulting conversations about how the other’s mother was a house pet. Tex waited a few moments until their voices were gone, then leaned back on the tree. She felt drained. First Vampires, and now Werewolves! She looked down the road again and silently re-evaluated her plan to go to the village. It should be safe. The Weres had said something about the road being forbidden, and it was light, so no Vamps. She sighed softly and picked leaves and bugs off the outside of her cloak. Then Tex, the Hunter, strode silently up the path towards the village.

Tex had been walking for less than a minute when an eerie sensation tripped down her spine. The forest seemed deathly silent, didn’t it always? As the shadows of the trees glided oddly across the path, she whipped toward the forest behind her just as one of the men from earlier lunged at her back. Simmons sank his fingers into her leather armor with a low growl and Tex felt his bulk land squarely on her shoulders. She rolled forward, pitching the cloaked Were into the trees nearby with his own momentum. Simmons snarled at the brush and Tex suddenly found herself confronted by an even filthier Grif. He had been lurking in a ditch on the side of the road and darted, jaws snapping, towards her. Tex grabbed one of her stakes and tried to stab her new attacker. The metal grazed Grif’s arm and he whimpered. Tex grinned at him. “How do you like that you filthy…” Her foot almost slid out from under her as Simmons grabbed her leg. He barked at Grif, who continued a now half-hearted frontal attack on Tex. She tried to slash again. The stake nicked Grif’s tunic and he almost shied away. Simmons continued to batter Tex’s legs until she kicked back violently. She felt her boot connect with something and Simmons let out a yelp, followed by a pained and inhuman howl.

Crouching, Tex jumped away from the two snarling men. Now it was her turn. She was facing them both, stake in hand, with the open path behind her. “Well boys.” She bluffed. “How do you like the taste of our silver stakes?” Grif gave a panicked look down at his arm. “Hunter.” Simmons snarled ineffectively. “Obviously.” Tex shot back. “I’ve killed hundreds of you mangy mutts in my lifetime. So back off.” She pulled out another stake. “We don’t need none of you damn hunters messin’ with our war.” A heavy voice appeared behind her. Tex cursed herself silently as something hit her and her world slowly… faded… to black.

She was slow coming to. The ceiling above her hazed in a thousand shades of gray. Tex lay on the stone floor of a large cave. She sighed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut and mentally checking for any odd pains. Her head hurt, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She opened her eyes properly and began to check her skin for any bites. Nothing. Tex let herself feel a rush of relief, then steeled her emotions. She would have to escape. The Weres had taken her gear, and Tex was honestly surprised that they’d even found all of her hidden stakes. But she was never helpless. Twisting her arms through the bindings that pinned them, Tex twisted up off the floor and began walking toward what should have been outside. The light was softer toward this end, deeper in the cave everything seemed to have an unnerving red glow.

Tex crept. Huddling close to the wall, she saw what appeared to be most of her gear lying on a stone shelf. “Please!” Tex huffed to herself. It was an obvious trap. She continued creeping past her gear. She would discover the caves exact location, go get Sister, and then return with her silver crossbow. Nobody in the damned cave stood a chance.

“Not so fa~st.” A bright new voice demanded over somewhere in the reddish shadows. Somebody stepped smoothly out in front of Tex, effectively blocking her way out. It took a few seconds for Tex to realized who, or what, this new figure was. Too feminine for a man, to masculine for a woman, then it had to be…elf. Crap. The elf had his longbow trained on Tex’s heart. Long, slender fingers pulled back a on a massive arrow. “Puh~leeze!” The elf exclaimed, flicking back his long blonde hair behind a pointed ear. “I honestly thought you might’ve gone for your stuff. This could’ve been easier you know.” “Shove it.” Tex responded. “I’m leaving whether you want me to or not. Waiting for those damned wolves doesn’t sound like my idea for a party.” “But it does for me! Now I have somebody else to talk to. You have NO idea how dull trying to talk to these Reds is. Food, food, killing Blues. Seriously!” Tex couldn’t help the disturbed expression that came across her face. “You STAY with these things?” The elf gave her an incredulous look. “You would too if you were lost. Now sit back down before Sarge comes back and decides to gut you. I really don’t want to spend all day keeping them away from your body.” Just for emphasis, the elf pulled back on his longbow, letting the wood creak ominously.

Tex frowned. Trapped again; she was loosing her touch.

“…So then the Royal Elfin Council decided to send some of us out and…” Tex groaned internally. The elf had been raving on for what seemed like hours. She didn’t care about his life story. REALLY didn’t care. But here she was, tied to a rock on the floor, listening to a confused elf discuss the many reasons he disliked the cave’s lighting. “It’s too red, I know they’re Red Team, but do they have to insult us with it? I haven’t had a chance to see the Blue castle yet but…” “Blue Castle.” Tex suddenly stated. “Ye~ah.” The elf exclaimed ponderingly. “The Vampires and their minion live there. It’s sort of” the elf waved his hand in a few directions “that way.” Tex was officially interested. “That’s really neat.” She tried to put on Sister’s gushy girl voice. Time to get some useful information out of this elf.

“So how can you tell they’re Reds?” Tex asked slyly. She’d been weaning information out of the elf for a good few minutes, and the fuzzy picture of this area was already getting clearer. The elf gestured around his neck “Ruby studded collars. I’m pretty sure the Blues have sapphire bracelets. I haven’t got a chance to properly see yet, they’re at a between-season lull.” “Lull…” “Yeah, they stop fighting for a bit and chill out at the bases, recruit other monsters, terrorize the Gulch, icky stuff like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed my... (At LEAST) ten year old Red vs Blue AU fanfiction. I think this was written back during the end of season 5/beginning of the RE series. I'm almost 100% certain it was before Recollection, since I watched that during college and this was definitely high school fic. The last edit date on the doc was... 2010? I graduated in 2009. So who knows really.
> 
> I don't really remember where I wanted to plot to go. I think Doc was going to be some sort of cleric and O'Malley was going to be a straight up demon. Blood Gulch was cursed because of magic. Tex couldn't escape. the Reds and Blues would have to team up to break the curse and fight demons (mirroring the OG aliens in the original series).   
> Something like that.


End file.
